Music triggers

I have songs that are examples of my mania, and some even feel like triggers to the mania.

I enjoy my mania. I love to feel powerful, sexy, in control of everything.

I do not enjoy the short temper that comes with it, the life damaging decisions, the coming down, and the unsteadiness of the world. (But that last one is also something I like too. It’s very complicated.)

This song is one of those songs: What if the Storm Ends by Snow Patrol.

It’s a perfect “storm” of lyrics and rhythm that reaches deep down and grabs everything I want to feel.

The lyrics :

What if this storm ends?

And I don’t see you

As you are now

Ever again

The perfect halo

Of gold hair and lightning

Sets you off against

The planet’s last dance

Just for a minute

The silver forked sky

Lit you up like a star

That I will follow

———

I see the “you” as myself in mania (the storm). It’s heartbreaking for me. I just really love my mania.

Which is fucked up.