Which sounds small and insignificant, but she was /is so important and brought smiles to me and my kids.
I take awhile to get out of triage mode usually in events like this and though it happened at 9:30 this morning, I haven’t really started feeling until much later today, in small waves.
We had to take my son to Orlando so I suggested we stop at Disney (we have passes) to grab dinner on the way home. Mostly thinking, I can have a drink and distractions to delay the inevitable.
It worked mostly.
We are on the way home now and I am dreading the time before sleep.
It has already hit me pretty hard and I laugh it off with jokes, and then try to reason why my reactions are this way.
I have an event tomorrow night I have to photograph, and in this moment in time I don’t want to, but I can’t get out of it (most of it is because grief, but also because I am always terrified before a shoot).
Friends are planning events and I just want to hide.
Forever.
I just want a giant syringe that sucks anything interesting out of me, any talent, any color, so I just blend into the background wall and no one thinks of me or notices me so I can just hide and feel sorry for myself and my sadness forever.
19 Jul 2019
0 Comments
Tibby
My bird died today.
Which sounds small and insignificant, but she was /is so important and brought smiles to me and my kids.
I take awhile to get out of triage mode usually in events like this and though it happened at 9:30 this morning, I haven’t really started feeling until much later today, in small waves.
We had to take my son to Orlando so I suggested we stop at Disney (we have passes) to grab dinner on the way home. Mostly thinking, I can have a drink and distractions to delay the inevitable.
It worked mostly.
We are on the way home now and I am dreading the time before sleep.
It has already hit me pretty hard and I laugh it off with jokes, and then try to reason why my reactions are this way.
I have an event tomorrow night I have to photograph, and in this moment in time I don’t want to, but I can’t get out of it (most of it is because grief, but also because I am always terrified before a shoot).
Friends are planning events and I just want to hide.
Forever.
I just want a giant syringe that sucks anything interesting out of me, any talent, any color, so I just blend into the background wall and no one thinks of me or notices me so I can just hide and feel sorry for myself and my sadness forever.
I love my damn bird, and it hurts.