13 Sep 2019
Organized chaos.
So this touches sooo close to home for me and some of my kids. (Watch link to video at end) Interesting thing. From my testing results, a sentence is written stating “She may be experiencing anger and alienation at times in addition to impulsivity in ways that can be seen as antisocial.” I was not […]
6 Sep 2019
MMPI2 Test Results
I posted back at the end of July about taking a psychological test… Below are the results. I went in today to get the results and discuss them with my psychologist. First she had me read over her written report, I completely didn’t not expect to start crying when I saw my diagnoses written out […]
4 Sep 2019
Pain
Lame: When you actually wake up, dress, get all your shit done in time to get to your orange theory class, even get on the treadmill and start running, only to realize you just can’t make it through the current sciatica pain and leave not even 2 minutes into class. Super lame: Trying to justify […]
27 Aug 2019
PMDD
This is my first PMDD week not on (double) Prozac for a long while. To say I’m over emotional and reactive is such a small statement. My brain is screaming at me to say things just to start shit. And then also shit is falling out of my face so fast that I can’t stop […]
21 Aug 2019
Manic
Besides being obviously PSYCHED about all my upcoming adventures with family and friends in the next 4 months (and there are a LOT), I am currently (Hypo)manic. Like getting into scary territory, manic. (Also big difference between being in mania and not knowing that I am or the symptoms and being in mania and knowing […]
30 Jul 2019
The MMPI2 Test
Yesterday I took a mental health test to possibly narrow down even more where/what my brain does. I’ve been diagnosed Bipolar I (rapid cycling) and ADHD for 20 years now, but when I was first diagnosed (and subsequently), it was from explanations of my experiences since I was about 12 years old and on. Though […]
30 Jul 2019
Weight gain, again
One month ago I changed my anti-psychotics, which are synonymous with weight gain. One month ago I weighed 10 lbs lighter. HOWEVER! There has been a lot of imbibing and cake because HOLY CRAP EVERY FRIEND AND FAMILY MEMBER I HAVE HAS A BIRTHDAY IN JULY! Scientific study still pending 😜
21 Jul 2019
Music triggers
I have songs that are examples of my mania, and some even feel like triggers to the mania. I enjoy my mania. I love to feel powerful, sexy, in control of everything. I do not enjoy the short temper that comes with it, the life damaging decisions, the coming down, and the unsteadiness of the […]
21 Jul 2019
Libido
So I lost the URL for this page because I get distracted. So, that’s a thing I need to stress over next week. I’ve been out of sorts, for what feels like weeks, when actually it’s only been since Friday. (Well technically a few days before that because I was seriously slacking and not doing […]
19 Jul 2019
Tibby
My bird died today. Which sounds small and insignificant, but she was /is so important and brought smiles to me and my kids. I take awhile to get out of triage mode usually in events like this and though it happened at 9:30 this morning, I haven’t really started feeling until much later today, in […]
3 Jul 2019
Change of meds…4 AM
Change of meds today (yesterday). Geodon to Latuda (my anti-psychotic). Geodon has been setting my skin on fire/electric, tightening of all my muscles, and skin trails. Like when coming down from an acid trip (yes, I know that feeling all too well-decades ago). It makes me uncomfortable and anxious and it sucks. I always thought […]
25 Oct 2019
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Pmdd
EDIT: I just noticed I wrote a post just like this 2 months ago… hahaha and from my prospective now, that was cake compared to this month…. fuck. PMDD is straight up kicking me in the ass this month. I have been really snippy because I dropped my antipsychotic a month or so ago and […]