Being sick makes me depressed. Not like “oh boohoo I’m depressed “, but like my brain dips super low and it’s hard to come back out, all while I’m anxious and clawing to get out, but just can’t.
I’ve been sick since Tuesday morning (and felt a bit Monday night, but was ignoring it then). It’s now Friday.
I have been in pain and in bed this entire time. I made it out for two appointments on Wednesday, but that sapped all my energy from me, and I think maybe delayed healing.
Today, I finally emerged from my dark bed and bedroom, so I planted my butt on my comfy chair in the living area, that faces outside and sends in some filtered sunlight. It felt good to be out.
My amazing friend, Jess, just happened to text me at that moment and asked how I was doing.
I told her of my progress from the room to the chair, and how it looked beautiful out, but I just didn’t have the energy to get completely outside yet.
She simply said ” The sun will feel nice.❤️”
And with that reminder, I picked my butt up and went a few steps outside and dipped my feet into the freezing cold pool. It felt so good.
I ended up sitting there, observing waves and thinking about the physics and connections between what we consider nature and our surroundings vs math and what we call “man-made” or not, referencing back to the movie Prometheus, then moving on to the psychology of it all, finally coming to a conclusion to my silly little brain essay. It’s was perfect.
It’s been an hour and a half and I just picked up my phone for the first time (outside of answering a couple texts), and I am refusing to go inside now.
I even made it out to the dock.
My head is coming back to me slowly, after being gone since Friday night (I had a major panic attack Saturday that, including recovery from it, lasted until I got sick Tuesday morning, that I may write about… NEED to write about, just can’t right now), and I am feeling good.
I am thankful for friends who give me reminders. Even obvious ones, that I should know but shrug at, this is where I need the most help with.
29 Mar 2019
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Sick
Being sick makes me depressed. Not like “oh boohoo I’m depressed “, but like my brain dips super low and it’s hard to come back out, all while I’m anxious and clawing to get out, but just can’t.
I’ve been sick since Tuesday morning (and felt a bit Monday night, but was ignoring it then). It’s now Friday.
I have been in pain and in bed this entire time. I made it out for two appointments on Wednesday, but that sapped all my energy from me, and I think maybe delayed healing.
Today, I finally emerged from my dark bed and bedroom, so I planted my butt on my comfy chair in the living area, that faces outside and sends in some filtered sunlight. It felt good to be out.
My amazing friend, Jess, just happened to text me at that moment and asked how I was doing.
I told her of my progress from the room to the chair, and how it looked beautiful out, but I just didn’t have the energy to get completely outside yet.
She simply said ” The sun will feel nice.❤️”
And with that reminder, I picked my butt up and went a few steps outside and dipped my feet into the freezing cold pool. It felt so good.
I ended up sitting there, observing waves and thinking about the physics and connections between what we consider nature and our surroundings vs math and what we call “man-made” or not, referencing back to the movie Prometheus, then moving on to the psychology of it all, finally coming to a conclusion to my silly little brain essay. It’s was perfect.
It’s been an hour and a half and I just picked up my phone for the first time (outside of answering a couple texts), and I am refusing to go inside now.
I even made it out to the dock.
My head is coming back to me slowly, after being gone since Friday night (I had a major panic attack Saturday that, including recovery from it, lasted until I got sick Tuesday morning, that I may write about… NEED to write about, just can’t right now), and I am feeling good.
I am thankful for friends who give me reminders. Even obvious ones, that I should know but shrug at, this is where I need the most help with.
😊