I can’t remember anything, but things are connecting and it’s freaking me out.
Last night a saying (that I’ve never heard before, but apparently is a well known saying) from a book I’m reading was in a show I’m watching.
Tonight I’m reading the same book and it goes into all about Hamlet, that I am taking the kids to see tomorrow.
There were several other weird things like that for the past week, but I just can’t remember what they are but they were definitely very odd. I keep thinking one of them was about a banana suit or something bizarre like that. *shrug*
I picked up the antipsychotics today finally and am actually an hour into the first one I have tried. Just weird slurry head, but it’s only to take at night. Except it says one at dinner and one at bed… I don’t think I can manage that yet.
The quarter of Adderall pill is working out pretty well, the odd other reality feeling has gone away and things make sense and my gawd the focus is awesome. I have only one issue with it now. My entire life, I shut down around 1-2, like just can not keep my eyes open (unless I am actively doing something that is not at home, and even then, most of the time I need to rush home because I can’t keep my eyes open). Now, after my first dose in the morning, I am super productive and rocking all the things, then I take my second dose and completely shut down an hour to hour and half later. I never thought that sleep could overcome me more than it did before, but now I have no choice in the matter. If I set my alarm for an hour, I usually can get back up and normal mindset within an hour to hour and half, and few okey for the rest of the day (though I’m still pretty useless after 5-6ish).
But I am learning to deal with all that, which is hard because school just started back up for me, and with household stuff, homeschooling my kids and now a nap, it’s a tight schedule.
Back to the connections, I keep wondering if it’s a thing because the Adderall is making me pay more attention to details and I am connecting them?
But my biggest fear is the Adderall has absolutely bumped up my mania, but none of the bad things have shown up so far, outside of the normal being watched thing. I am not trying to go out and get attention from other people, I have no desire for anyone except my husband, and my sex drive has bumped up a bit, which is nice.
But I remember back in my 3+ year mania, I had these weird connections then too. That went hand in hand with the hypersexuality.
Odd thing I just noticed: my husband just got home and I have barely looked up because so focused on writing this, but I am totally feeing the antipsychotic now…
Not editing this, so it should be an interesting read for me in the morning 😄
28 Feb 2019
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Things and more thoughts
Things are adding up.
And it worries me.
I can’t remember anything, but things are connecting and it’s freaking me out.
Last night a saying (that I’ve never heard before, but apparently is a well known saying) from a book I’m reading was in a show I’m watching.
Tonight I’m reading the same book and it goes into all about Hamlet, that I am taking the kids to see tomorrow.
There were several other weird things like that for the past week, but I just can’t remember what they are but they were definitely very odd. I keep thinking one of them was about a banana suit or something bizarre like that. *shrug*
I picked up the antipsychotics today finally and am actually an hour into the first one I have tried. Just weird slurry head, but it’s only to take at night. Except it says one at dinner and one at bed… I don’t think I can manage that yet.
The quarter of Adderall pill is working out pretty well, the odd other reality feeling has gone away and things make sense and my gawd the focus is awesome. I have only one issue with it now. My entire life, I shut down around 1-2, like just can not keep my eyes open (unless I am actively doing something that is not at home, and even then, most of the time I need to rush home because I can’t keep my eyes open). Now, after my first dose in the morning, I am super productive and rocking all the things, then I take my second dose and completely shut down an hour to hour and half later. I never thought that sleep could overcome me more than it did before, but now I have no choice in the matter. If I set my alarm for an hour, I usually can get back up and normal mindset within an hour to hour and half, and few okey for the rest of the day (though I’m still pretty useless after 5-6ish).
But I am learning to deal with all that, which is hard because school just started back up for me, and with household stuff, homeschooling my kids and now a nap, it’s a tight schedule.
Back to the connections, I keep wondering if it’s a thing because the Adderall is making me pay more attention to details and I am connecting them?
But my biggest fear is the Adderall has absolutely bumped up my mania, but none of the bad things have shown up so far, outside of the normal being watched thing. I am not trying to go out and get attention from other people, I have no desire for anyone except my husband, and my sex drive has bumped up a bit, which is nice.
But I remember back in my 3+ year mania, I had these weird connections then too. That went hand in hand with the hypersexuality.
Odd thing I just noticed: my husband just got home and I have barely looked up because so focused on writing this, but I am totally feeing the antipsychotic now…
Not editing this, so it should be an interesting read for me in the morning 😄