December 5, 2018

Crap mood since yesterday afternoon.

Either situational (money issues freaking me out), or PMDD, or just plain ole bipolar rearing it’s nasty slimy greasy head.

I guess it doesn’t matter either way.

I went from great mood to an absolute switch, snapping at everyone, hating and doubting everything, thinking the absolute worst of everything. Needing to just have chocolate and wine. And then hating myself for giving into that (thankfully it didn’t turn into a full bottle of wine night. I’m not sure how…)

Today, I decided since I am in my PMDD section of the month, maybe I should go back to the Xanax in the morning (I stopped about a month ago, doc had advised doing it in AM and PM, but it was wearing me down).

Today has been much better.

I did snap at each child once today, but very tiny bit and I stopped myself, and everything is not as doom and gloom.

However, it’s totally nap time now.

I want to draw and practice uke (I haven’t touched it in 4 weeks!!! 😩), but my brain has started the shutdown process.

Blarg.

#bipolar #pmdd #bitchy